New Me
by mockingjay121
Summary: Katniss was the only victor of the 74th Hunger Games. She is forced into becoming a sex slave in the capitol, just like Finnick Odair. Finnick helps her through her troubled life as a victor. Could they risk everything their fighting for to be together? Or will others stand in their way? Katniss/Finnick. Rated M for smut and minor language.
1. Chapter 1

I shoot up and suck in a huge desperate breath. Filling my lungs with desperately needed air. I immediately look around the room frantically, getting ready to fight off anyone who comes my way. As i scan the room i realize its empty apart from me and the cold marble table i was lying on.

As i study myself i realize i now only wear a clean white robe instead of the black ripped up suite i wore in the games.

The games... I won

I quickly scout out the room looking for someone who can tell me where i am. Suddenly a slides door opens in the white wall and a man with bright yellow hair walks through in a white lab coat

"oh good, your awake" he chirps checking something on his clipboard

"w-where am i?" i question in slight panic

"you, miss everdeen, are the winner of the 74th hunger games, congratulations!" he praises me "you are in the capable hands of the best doctors the capitol has to offer! wouldn't want you all bashed and bruised for your interview would we?" he raises a perfectly plucked yellow eyebrow at me

"where is haymitch?" i ask, hoping for someone who i am relatively familiar with

"mr Abernathy is speaking with some doctors and shall be with you momentarily" with that he leaves the room. i sit back down on the table and soon realize that all the scars and cuts i got during the games are gone. Vanished.

The door in the wall slides open again and in stumbles Haymitch, looking no less drunk than when i left him going into the games.

"Well sweetheart" he slurs "that was some games"

i glare at him, the first time he sees me after i was sitting at deaths door and that is what he says?

however i don't disagree. when he says 'that was some games' he isn't joking because my games will be the talk of the capitol for years to come.

My name is Katniss Everdeen. I come from district 12. Since the age of 8 when my father died in a mine explosion i have had to fend for myself while fending also for my family. I was reaped for the 74th Hunger games and i knew the second my sisters name was called that 1- there was no way she was going into the games and 2- i knew i was going in and i was going to win

So that is exactly what i did. I went into the hunger games at the age of 16 and set a new record. I killed the most tributes in history. The previous record was set by the capitol heart throb (or the capitol whore) Finnick Odair. He killed only 11 tributes out of 24. Myself, i killed 19 tributes. I can only imagine how crazy the capitol is going right now over the new record or the fact that i killed 19 people. I did them all quickly, all in different ways, not because i'm a sick person, but because i want everyone including me to remember every single one of those people so killing them each in a different way will help those remember.

"how long have i been out?"i ask

"2 days" he says monotone "your interview is tonight"

i groan aloud. interviews are not my forte

"guess i better go get ready then" i get up to leave but he grabs my arm and gives me a hard look. "you haven't noticed yet have you?" he asks cautiously

"noticed what?" i ask irritated.

"snow... he made some... requests" i raise an eyebrow at his brief explanation

"haymitch! speak english!" i yell getting angry at him

there is a brief pause where haymitch takes a deep breath "i will let snow explain. He is waiting up on the 12th floor for you" i am about to protest when he just drops my arm and walks out the room. I take a moment to process before i walk out of the room.

I make my way around the building in the robe i was given. i don't see the point in changing, i'm just going to be shoved into some capitol gown again in 1 hour anyway. I reach the elevator and press 12, as the elevator shoots up i cant help but think about what president snow would want to talk to me about.

The doors ping open to reveal a flustered Effie sprinting towards me and congratulating me on my games saying how amazing they were and Cinna giving me a very sympathetic smile which i raise an eyebrow at just shrugging it off.

during Effie's rant cinna interrupts "president snow is waiting for you in the study" he says simply and i excuse myself from the room and journey down the hall to the study. i hesitate slightly before knocking lightly and a peacekeeper opens the door ushering me in. The clear smell of blood and roses are present and i try my best not to gag. It smells like death in here.

Snow turns around from looking out of the window and sends me a wicked smile. "Miss Everdeen" he begins "please sit" he gestures to a seat which i sit down in slowly "Well Miss Everdeen, i have to say i am impresses. And i'm sure anyone can tell you i am not easily impressed" he takes a seat in front of me and takes a long sip of his tea in front of him. "Katniss, your games were different than all the others. The capitol people loved it!" he smiles like i am the gift he always wanted "you have successfully stopped all rebelling in the districts and made the capitol overwhelmingly happy"

"just because i killed 19 children" i state coldly and that only makes his smile grow wider

"indeed" he puts his cup down "i have a proposition for you" he states looking me in the eye

"what kind of... proposition?" i ask cautiously

"Miss Everdeen, it is no secret that you are a beautiful young woman" he pauses and i make an uncomfortable face "and some people in the capitol now have found you quite... desirable" he rolls of his tongue in an evil tone and i don't think i'm following

"mr president, i'm not following" i feel a bit stupid right now

"I wont beat around the bush Miss Everdeen. Capitol men and women are willing to pay a lot of money for the_ pleasure_ of your company" he observes the cogs turning in my head, putting the pieces together when suddenly i take in a gasp

"I WILL NOT SLEEP WITH RANDOM CREEPS!" i scream but it is clear he is unfazed by my outburst

"oh Miss Everdeen, i think you will" he states taking another sip of his tea as if we were simply talking like old friends "unless you want something to happen to your sister. Primrose, isn't it? Or your cousin" he chuckles lightly, i don't have a cousin. "Gale, i believe" i am about to correct him when i realize the capitol must have said that to keep up with Snows plan for me becoming a... _Prostitute._

I also realize that now i have no choice but to do as he says. If i don't do as i am told then he will kill prim, or gale, or my mother or anyone else he pleases. I have a awful sick feeling in my stomach that makes me want to throw up and scream and cry all at the same time. But i don't do any of those i just nod, emotionless.

"Great!" he smiles triumphantly he gets up to leave "Miss Everdeen you will also notice that i made some much needed and desired... enhancements." i crook an eyebrow "your first appointment will be tomorrow night" he takes a white rose out of his pocket and hands it to me while taking my hand and kissing the back of it "for you miss everdeen. its always a pleasure" He grins one more time before leaving the room.

The second i hear the door close i scream and punch and slash and hit everything in site. For what feels like hours later i am sitting on the ground crying my eyes out and rocking back and forward. I barley even feel someone picking me up and carrying me through to the bathroom.

I snap out of my crying faze and look up at Cinna as he runs me bath. He looks at me sympathetically but his time doesn't smile. I think he knows exactly what happened.

"Come one girl on fire, don't let this exhaust your flame" he says slashing me a crooked smirk and i chuckle, trust Cinna to find humor in this.

He stands me and and lowers my robe, dropping it to the ground. I then realize what Snow meant by 'desired enhancements' i look down at my bust and realize that both of my breasts are so much bigger than they were before the games. I used to be only a B cup and now i know i am at least a DD maybe even an E. I turn around to face Cinna, he has seen me naked before it doesn't bother me but when look into his eyes he is looking down at the floor.

"i tried to convince them not too" he says sadly "but i couldn't... i'm so sorry Katniss" he whispers and i see a single tear flow down Cinna's dark cheek. At this moment i don't care if i'm naked i trap my arms around his large frame and he does the same to me

"its not your fault Cinna" i say chocking it out as tears flow down my cheeks "did they do anything else?" i ask

"they enlarged your breasts, bottom, filled out then toned your stomach, made your hip bones and collar bones more prominent, pierced your ears and belly button, gave you hair extensions... and gave you the capitol tattoo" he only chokes out the last part and he pushed himself away from me

I take in the information, each feature made me cringe but the last one, the tattoo, made my blood curl. Sure enough when i look at my left wrist i can see the bird with his wings open and spears at the bottom with the words 'capitol' written along the top. Underneath that there are three lines of writing

_Panem Today_

_Panem Tomorrow_

_Panem Forever_

I understand why they did all of it, i had a flat chest and ass, so they made them bigger. I was so skinny you could see my ribs, so they fattened me up then make it all flat. They want me to look skinny so they made my bones more prominent. They want me to be more capitol like so they pierced my ears and belly button. My hair used to be below my shoulders, and now as i take it out of the messy bun it was in before, i realize it now stops at the bottom of my rib cage with layers and highlights and low lights. My hair is darker, almost black, with dark and light brown highlights running through it. Then there is the tattoo, that shows my dedication towards the capitol. and to snow.

I am not katniss everdeen, the little girl from district 12 anymore. I am Katniss Everdeen, the girl on fire, and soon to be capitol whore.


	2. Chapter 2

After spending the past 2 hours getting ready i am standing in my room waiting for Cinna to bring me my dress. Getting my hair and makeup done was one of the worst experiences of my life. My prep team, Flavius, Octavia and Vienna would not stop talking about my new appearance, how amazing i look, how everyone will love me, etc, etc, etc. I was ready to pull my hair out by the end of it.

I hear a knock at the door that pulls me from my thoughts as Cinna enters with a dress bag. He gives me that same look of pure pity as he takes the dress out and i instantly cringe. Cinna's designs are beautiful but it is clear that this design is more snows than Cinna's. He helps me put it on over my head being careful not to ruin my hair and i look at myself in the mirror. I don't even recognize myself anymore.

In the mirror stands a stunning young woman with heavy smokey eye makeup and bright red lips that look like the colour of blood. Her black hair surrounds her face in Curls that half have been pinned in a creative array at the back of her head. The rest of her hair comes down to the bottom of her ribs. She wears a Black sparkly strapless and backless dress with a red trim all the way around. She has her back on show and her breasts have been pushed up and look huge! Her dress is tight all the way down and shows off her large bust and large butt and her tone stomach, Her dress has a slit that comes up to the top of her thigh to show her olive skin and thin legs. Her outfit is complete with 6 inch red stiletto heals. She is stunning, sexy and most importantly not me.

"Its beautiful Cinna" i'm not lying, it is stunning

"but its not you" he completes my sentence for me and i mearly nod and give him a hug before leaving the room and going out to the hall where everyone else is.

Effie instantly flusters me about how stunning i look and i mearly say thanks and try and move on but even Haymitch raises his glass in my direction in acknowledgement of my appearance.

Now i stand back stage waiting for my interview with Caesar and i can hear the full crown screaming and getting excited for meeting the 'best victor yet' i sigh, if only they knew that the only reason i did that was because i wanted it to be over faster. I knew the second i stepped into the arena that i was going to win so i just killed everyone i could as quick as possible, no point in prolonging the torture of being in the arena. The only 4 people i didn't kill was peeta, the boy that saved me when i was young. I couldn't kill him so i didn't hunt him down, i assume he died at the hands of someone else. I also didn't kill the young girl from 11, Rue, she reminds me too much of Prim to do that. I also didn't kill the girl from 5, i didn't even know her name and i don't know how she died. Finally i didn't kill a girl from 8, Cato killed her i the blood bath. But other than that i killed everyone else, including the careers.

I am pulled from my thoughts when i hear caesar announce the shows beginning and give a brief introduction to the audience. Haymitch told me before the games that i had to act flirty, illusive and all that so i have to keep it up. "Now for the moment you have all been waiting for the winner of the 74th Hunger Games. Katniss Everdeen, The Girl On Fire!" he screams as the doors at the back of the stage open and i walk up the steps being hit by bright lights and screaming capitol people.

I hear the gasps and screams and cheers and praise as i walk towards caesar with a fake smile plastered on my face. I reach caesar and take his outstretched hand, i can see clearly that even caesar is dumbfound by my appearance tonight.

"My, my. Katniss you look ravishing!" he exclaims and the audience cheer and scream in agreement

"thank you caesar" i smile as we sit down

"i think the audience can agree with me when i say that this is definitely not the same girl we saw on that reaping day" i mearly chuckle flirtatiously

"no caesar. i'm still the same person that loves my sister. I have just improved my appearance. you like?" i ask and the audience go crazy. i cross my leg so my entire leg is on show because of the slit.

"of course. you look beautiful Katniss!" a slight blush grows on my cheeks as i thank him again. Once the audience dies down caesar begins the interview

"So katniss, don't tell any of the other victors but, your my new favourite. Who agrees?" caesar exclaims and the whole audience erupt into cheers. Unbelievable, they love me the most because i am a murderer.

i chuckle lightly "oh don't worry, i wont tell a soul"

"Katniss, 19! that is a new record and you beat the last one by a lot i might add. I am immensely impressed. What drove you to do that?" he asks curiously

"Well caesar, i knew the second that i volunteered for my sister that i was going into that games to win. I decided i wanted out of the arena as quickly as possible so i just set myself on a mission to end it as quickly as possible. So i killed 19 tributes in 6 days" i flip my hair over my shoulder as if it was nothing

"One of our shortest games ever" he adds "so what do you plan to do now that you have won?" he asks

"well i think i might stick around in the capitol for a while, that is if i'm welcome?" the audience scream as if begging me to stay forever, the only reason i'm staying is because 1- haymitch told me on the way down here that i would be here for my different 'appointments' for at least a week and 2- i don't think i can go home right now, prim, gale and my mom are going to judge me on my new appearance and the fact that i killed 19 children without a second thought and just everything that i have gotten myself into. Its a horrible feeling.

"you are more than welcome here Katniss" caesar says touching my hand gently "but if you don't mind my asking, why wouldn't you want to get back to Primrose strait away?"

"I can easily just call Prim. The capitol has become my home away from home in a way and by sticking around i want to show the capitol people how much i appreciate everything they do for me and the districts of panem" thats it iv got the whole capitol eating out of the palm of my hand. If snow isn't happy with this i don't know what will please him!

"katniss that is so kind and generous of you to say, i say on behalf of the capitol thank you" everyone cheers "now shall we watch your games recap?" he asks curiously. I just nod and the screen behind me lights up revealing a video which i mearly sit through staring blankly at the screen. I discovered how the other 4 were killed peeta was killed by a wounded leg which led to too much blood loss. Rue was killed by a spear to the heart by marvel. The girl from 8 was killed in the blood bath. And the girl from 5 which i know know by the name of Amber, was killed by eating night lock. It also showed each and every way that i killed everyone else which was not a pleasant experience to watch.

By the end of my interview everyone in the crowd is laughing, crying and everything in between my interview was 2 hours long, double what the average victor interview is. "Ladies and gentlemen please give a warm round of applause for the newest victor of the 74th hunger games the beautiful Katniss Everdeen!"


	3. Chapter 3

**Review please! Xx**

With that i walk off the stage strait into the arms of Haymitch. A warm hug is what i needed right now. We walk in silence into the elevator and up to the 12th floor where i just walk into my room and quickly take off this dress. I feel like trash when i wear it, even though it probably costs thousands upon thousands to make. I slip on my robe and walk back out to the lounge area and ask an avox for a hot chocolate, my favourite.

Haymitch and i just sit on the couch for about an hour and a half watching pointless capitol tv, most channels have my face plastered on it or are talking about my new image or games, we just skip those channels.

In the midst of all this channel surfing the elevator pings open revealing a cocky grinning Finnick Odair. Since my little talk with snow i have come to the conclusion that Finnick Odair who has been known as the capitol boy toy for years is actually in the exact same position as me. He is being forced into prostitution.

i can see why. Finnick has to be one of the most handsome men i have ever seen, if not the most handsome. He is down right gorgeous. His wavy bronze hair falls over his forehead in a perfectly messy way and his facial featured are perfectly shaped. His bright emerald eyes are captivating even here from 15 feet away i cant help but stare at them. Not even mentioning his body i will just say that it is clear he works out from his right shirt.

He saunters his way in with a cocky walk that makes women's pants drop with a devilish smirk on his face and plonks himself down on the couch right next to me, his arm draped over the back of the couch in a casual, yet sexy way. I cant stop staring at him.

"Like what you see, girl on fire?" he asks with a smirk raising an eyebrow

i feel a blush rise in my cheeks and he early chuckles

"what you doing here fish boy?" haymitch asks, he not so subtly drapes an arm around me and shuffles closer, if i didn't know any better i would have thought haymitch was being protective over me.

"no need to get cranky old drunk. Im just meeting the newest victor" Finnick says innocently with the same grin on his face he looks at me and keeps his gaze there for a few seconds of awkward silence

"mmhhmm. Im convinced otherwise fish boy" Haymitch turns his attention back to the tv. Even with the TV on there is still an awkward atmosphere in the room. I haven't even said a word to Finnick since he came in the door.

"Alright then" i get up off the couch and give myself a quick dust off "i'm just going to go to bed now" i slyly make my way out of the room then run down the hall to my room.

I enter my room and take a shower and shove on a pair of black underwear and a loose silk night dress. I snuggle into bed and think about life for a short time and just as i'm gradually beginning to fall asleep there is a soft knock at my door, i groan in irritation.

"what do you want Haymitch?!" i shout to him from the other side of the door. The door creeks open and in enters Finnick, looking as dashing as ever.

"Not Haymitch, you got one better" he says cockily before bouncing towards the bed and jumping on top of it lying himself next to me quite comfortably. I scoot further away from him, slightly uncomfortable with the situation.

"and your here because..." i trail off

"cant i visit a friend?" he asks gazing at me

"friend? we've known each other for all of 5 minutes" i reply. For a second i see slight hurt cross his features but as soon as they appear they are gone, as if they were never there at all.

"that may be so pretty kitty. But you and i are the same" he reply's cooly not looking at me.

I chuckle lightly "oh we are, are we?" i would love to hear this

"Yes kitty kat, we both won the games by killing a lot of people. We are both adored by the capitol. We will both do everything we can to protect the few people we love. and were both tied down as snows little whores. So yeah, id say we were pretty similar" he says nonchalant

the sheer bluntness he said it with made me cringe slightly "y-you know?" i ask

"katniss, it doesn't take a genius to figure out that your a very beautiful, desirable woman. Any man from the capitol would be all but willing to choke up thousands to have you for an evening." now he looks at me in the eye and i can see understanding and sympathy in his eyes. i look away.

He was right, Finnick Odair and i are the same person on the inside. We both have really shit lives and there is very little we can do about it. I decide in that moment that finnick is the only one in the same situation as me as far as i know so really he is the only one i could turn to for answer. I spit out the question before i could chicken out.

"what's it like?" i was very brief with the question but i knew that he knew exactly what i would mean.

There is a long intense silence where we both just sit staring at the wall until he takes a deep breath and begins

"at first, unbearable. but now, after 7 years of doing it, i'm numb to it. I just go, act, leave. Its simple now." i didn't know that when i asked finnick what it was like i was expecting a good answer, i wanted him to tell me that it isn't that bad, that you get over it, but its clear that i don't. and somehow that makes it all the more real.

"kat, can i ask you something?" he asks, for the first time Finnick sounds venerable, scared even. I don't want to answer his question if thats how he is going to act but i know it would be unfair to him if i didn't so i just nod.

"have you even had sex before?" he doesn't say it in an accusing way like most people would he says it almost compassionately, it makes me want to be honest with him.

"no" i say truthfully, where is lying going to get me. I don't want to lose my virginity to some random man in the capitol but i don't have any other choice.

I look at Finnick to see his jaw tightening and his eyes focusing on a certain point on the wall, his green orbs filled with rage and hatred. "Its not fair" he says and i don't fully understand what he is saying. "you shouldn't have your first time be with some desperate capitol sleaze who is out for nothing but pleasure and doesn't give a damb about you. Your first time should be with someone you love and loves you" he looks at me with such a boyish expression. He looks young and venerable like this.

"Finnick, i don't have a choice" I run my hand through my hair in stress and rest my head in my hands. I stay like this for a few minuets before i start breathing heavier, almost in tears, i am not normally one to cry, i haven't cried since my father died. I feel a soft hand reach underneath my chin and pull my face up. I am now looking into his eyes and i see nothing but admiration, respect, determination and compassion.

"i could help" those three words made my breath hitch in my throat and made me freeze in place. Is he suggesting what i think he is suggesting?

"Katniss, i would only do it if you were completely ok with it. I just don't want you to have to suffer through your first time being something you found unbearable like i did" he explains softly

I finally found out how to breath again. Finnick is right, i don't want my only first time to be with some capitol man who just wants to take advantage of me. I want what every girl wants, i want to be loves and respected and have my first time be special. Finnick cant provide that but he is sure a hell of a lot better than any of my other options right now. But can i do it? i barley know him?

"Finnick, I barley know you?!" i exclaim quietly

"Kat, you and i are closer than you think. Over time we will become the best of friends. I will help you with everything i can from now on because no one should have to go through what i did alone. I can help you, but i only can if you let me" i realize that this is the best option and after Finnick's little speech it makes me feel like i don't have to do this all by myself. Someone can help me, Finnick can help me.

I slowly nod in agreement to his proposition. Not sure if i will regret it later. he takes a deep breath obviously processing my decision.


	4. Chapter 4

I am terrified, i don't know why, but i am. Finnick senses it and touches my cheek affectionately showing me that i'm not alone. He keeps his hand on my cheek as he slowly, hesitantly leans in. His lips touch mine lightly, softly, innocently. We just continue our innocent kisses for a short time, i like it, i'm enjoying it. Finnick obviously knows i don't want to go fast, i want to take it slow so its not to overwhelming, 1 step at a time.

The innocent kisses soon escalate into a slightly more heated make out session and when his tongue glides a long my bottom lip i take that as a sign to open my mouth. As i do so the kiss becomes more and more heated as our tongues battle together for dominance and our soft lips move together. Finnick moves his hands to secure around my waist and i wrap mine around his neck, pulling him closer to me.

Finnick is now playing with the hem of my night dress, subtly hinting at taking it off. He reaches his warm hands underneath and they come up my thighs and he touches my stomach softly. He secures his arms again around my bare skinned waist and i move my hands down to the bottom of his shirt and wait no time to pull it off.

WOW! is the only thing i could think of. His prominent abs are hard and positioned nicely on his olive skin and his arms are large and strong. I admire his body until i hear a low chuckle as i look up to meet his eyes. "like what you see?" he asks cockily but i just ignore his comment and collide our lips together again.

With my new found confidence he doesn't hesitate to slide up my night dress and pull it over my head to reveal my new, large, breasts. Finnick doesn't pay the slightest bit of attention to them, its like he knows that i hate what i now look like because its not me. He just kisses me again.

I undo Finnick's belt buckle and undo the buttons to his jeans and zipper. he raises his hips to allow me to pull down his jeans. now that we are both just in out underwear finnick moves our position so that he is hovering over me. i stare into his emerald green eyes that are filled with lust, it takes away my nervousness and replaces it with excitement.

Finnick now leans down and kisses me slowly and passionately, taking his time now. He reaches down my sides and then grabs onto my butt and gives it a tight squeeze. i let out a humorous chuckle against his lips and i can feel his smirk against mine. he plays with the trims of my lacy black underwear for a second before tugging them down i raise my hips to allow him to do so and he slides them right down and off. i feel slightly exposed under his lustful gaze but that is soon interrupted as he almost pounces back on top of me, quickly shedding his boxer briefs in the process. i study him for a moment and i start to panic again, he is huge! i don't have experience but it doesn't take a genius to know that he is way above average. there is no way he is fitting inside me!

Finnick, sensing my obvious panic, strokes my cheek tenderly. "Its ok Kitty, I'l be gentle" he whispers sweetly i can only nod. The sincerity in his voice makes my heart melt, it makes it sound like he does actually care about me. He kisses me one more time gently before positioning himself at my entrance, i am tense, closed off, worried, all at the same time. Finnick gently pry's my knees further apart and kisses my cheek. "Its ok, just relax, let me take care of you"It may be the most stupid thing i have ever done, but right now i trust Finnick and relax a bit. He moves his lips against mine once more until i feel him push into me.

The sharp stinging pain is unbearable, it really hurts. He pushes slowly all the way in then holds himself there, letting me adjust to his size before kissing my cheek again sweetly. "you ok?" he asks and i just nod before he moves in and out slowly. It hurts a lot at first but soon after the pain is pretty much gone and i am grinding my hips against his, looking for more friction. He chuckles before picking up the pace and thrusting into me faster and faster. Our moans mix together soon after, our thrusting while moaning each others names in pleasure are what push me over the edge. I cry out Finnick's name is pleasure as he continues to thrust into me until he gets pushed over the edge as well.

We both lay next to each other panting as we come down. Finnick moves closer to me on the bed and wraps his strong arms around me. I drapes my leg across his lower stomach and an arm around his chest as i nuzzle closer to him. I just want to be close to someone right now. "Thank you" i say quietly against his chest

"Like i said Kitty, i will help you all i can. Your not alone in this" he kisses my forehead gently. Hearing him say that instantly soothes me, making me less worried about the future.

If you would have told me two weeks ago before i volunteered for the games that i would be cuddling naked with Finnick Odair i wouldn't have believed you in a million years, and yet here i am. At some point in my day dreaming i must have fallen asleep peacefully, I never had one nightmare that night and i cant help think it was because of the company of the mans arms i am wrapped in.


	5. Chapter 5

I woke up the next morning still suite tired. when i tried to move i felt constricted, there was something, no, someone, holding me in place. The events of last night rush back to me, Finnick and i, everything we did. My eyes flash open and i am immediately met with gorgeous bright green orbs staring at me. I feel a blush ride to my cheeks. "Morning beautiful" he whispers still staring and smiling at me

"hi" i whisper sitting up, holding the blanket to my chest to stop Finnick from seeing my naked form, i look at the night stand and see that its almost two "wow" i say.

"i know, i haven't slept that long without nightmares since... before my games" i look at him and see he is deep in thought so i take this opportunity to scramble out of bed and grab my robe. Finnick not so subtly gets up with no shame what so ever and walks towards the closet and takes out a spare robe, i take the opportunity to look at his very nice behind.

We walk out of the room together and into the lounge to see haymitch, Effie and Cinna in easy conversation at the table. They stop immediately when they see us and all look at us like were crazy.

"Fish boy, when i said go and talk to her i didn't mean sleep with her" Haymitch says pointing an accusing finger at Finnick who just chuckled and puts a hand on the small of my back guiding me to the table. The whole time i can feel a hot blush coating my cheeks.

"Katniss, it is not proper lady like to-" i cut Effie off with a splitting glare that could kill. Finnick chuckles at the reaction to my face.

The table is pretty much quiet the only thing that is really going on is the fact that Effie keeps sending glares mine and Finnick's way and Haymitch is glaring fire at Finnick all the time. I think Haymitch has gotten a bit protective of his only victor. When i'm done Cinna and I go through to my room and he prepares me for my 'appointment' later.

It's now 4:30 and my appointment is at 5 in the hotel not far from the training centre. Cinna is now complete and i can safely say i look like a complete whore. I know Cinna knows whats going on and that he has been given specific orders by snow to dress me like this but it doesn't mean i have to like it. I have heavy smokey eye makeup and sexy black lace lingerie. I have on a very short red backless dress that if i bend over to much you will see my underwear. My hair is in dark curls around my face and it is complete with 6 inch stiletto heals.

I walk into the hall after hugging Cinna to see Haymitch and Finnick in an intense argument standing near the door

"She needed to do it!" Finnick yells at Haymitch

"Yeah, not with you though!" Haymitch protests

"Would you rather she lost it to some capitol freak who doesn't give a damb about her?!" Finnick rhetorically asks

"You don't give a damb about her!" haymitch screams back at him

"Of course i care Haymitch, Iv gone through everything that she is going through. I get her. She needed my help! You don't like it just because your too protective over her" Finnick spits back

"I will admit i am protective, but she is only 16 Finnick, she's just a little girl. Your 23!" Haymitch spits

"That doesn't matter Haymitch and you know it" Finnick doesn't yell this time, he is trying to defuse the situation. I decide to make my presence known now

I walk into the room and the clicking of my heels make both men turn in my direction. I pretend i didn't hear their argument as i keep my head down, completely embarrassed by my attire.

Haymitch says nothing, he just gives me a long and tight fatherly hug. Father.. I miss my dad so much, i wouldn't know what he would think of what i'm doing now. "its gonna be ok sweetheart" he whisper into my hair, he kissed my hair line before Finnick holds out his arm for me to take. I do and we enter the elevator.

"Katniss, the most important part is that you need to act like you want to be there. You have to keep up the facade, because if any of you clients complain to snow... Its not good." Finnick breaths "act flirty, always be touching them somewhere at some point. Make sure you talk to them, there is no way to put it nicely katniss, you need to act like you enjoy, act like you love them. Thats the only way to keep them and snow happy, just do what they say..." There is a long pause where i take in everything he just told me, im disgusted, i have to act like i actually like it. I can't do that.

the elevator doors ping open and we walk out. Finnick walks me to the door where hundreds of capitol paparazzi are already waiting for the perfect shot of a victor. "You can do this Kat" he gives me a tight hug and i grip him with all my might, i don't want to go.

He finally releases and gives me a nod. I leave the building only to be swarmed by paparazzi and capitol people who adore me. I try and keep my head down but the questions are thrown left right and centre.

"Katniss, how do you feel about winning?"

"katniss whats going on with you and Finnick Odair?" uh oh, i guess they got a few pictures of our hug at the door.

"Katniss, where are you going now?"

I ignore all the questions and keep walking until i get into the limo. The driver is silent and just drives me to the hotel which is only 5 minuets away and by time we get there i ams shaking in my boots. I get out with unsteady feet only to be met by more paparazzi. I ignore them and rush into the hotel and sit at the bar where i wait for my client.

It feels like forever before someone comes and sits next to me, gazing at me lustfully. Show time.

I turn on the flirty facade and look over at him with a cocky sexy smirk on my face. He is a mid 40's man, i think. With black and blue hair, he wears a blue suit and have features that appear to be too large for his face. I smile at him

"Katniss Everdeen" I extend my hand while batting my eyelashes

"Perrie Younsworth" he takes my hand and brings it up to his horrible chapped, big lips. while keeping his eyes on me. I turn on the charm and flirty ness finnick told me too.

"Its a pleasure to meet you Mr younsworth" i purr while swiveling round in my chair. I stick out my chest a bit more while i sip my drink. I feel his lustful gaze on my chest. He puts a hand on my thigh

"iv got to say miss Everdeen, i definitely got what i payed for, you look absolutely..." he pauses and lens close to my ear "Delicious" he finishes, it sends chills up my spine the way he said it. Well, at least he is blunt enough to admit he bought me

I turn to face him "Well Mr Younsworth, maybe we could go upstairs and you could show me just how delicious i am" i purr while running my hands up and down his chest. I leave my hands on the waist of his pants and i step closer pressing myself against him fully. I hear him let out a low growl and a moan as i grind myself into him slowly, trying not to cause to much attention to be drawn to us.

"Your mine" he whispers before he quickly wraps a secure and possessive arm around my waist and quickly guides us towards the elevator. Let hell begin.


	6. Chapter 6

I lay in bed, completely naked, next to a man who i only met an hour ago. To say the last hour has put me through hell and back is an understatement. I thought i could just do what Finnick did, i would block it out, i wouldn't have to feel anything. But i did. I felt it all.

I thought maybe they would be nice, and gentle. But no, the man i had, mr younsworth, was anything but gentle. He was rough and possesive, he even hit me once or twice when i didn't give him the reaction he wanted straight away. Im pretty sure i have a lot of bruises on my lower region now because of the vile man lying next to me. But i have to keep up the act now.

I look at the clock and see it is 6, time to go. I roll over to look at the yellow faced freak that bought me for the evening, i affectionately place my hand in his cheek and move a piece of blue hair that has fallen from its ponytail.

"I got to go" i whisper. I move forward so my face is just a few millimeters from his. "I had an amazing time" With that i move closer filling the gap between our lips. I hold the kiss for a few seconds then pull away and get out of bed to get dressed.

I feel his eyes admiring my body from behind as i get dressed and it makes me very uncomfortable. When i have finished getting dressed and look remotely presentable i am about to leave when i hear the man say "worth every penny" I feel bile rise in my throat and i resist the urge to throw up at that moment, i turn around and smile at him before i leave the room and basically run to the elevator at the end of the hallway.

* * *

When i exit the building i am once again hounded by paparazzi, asking for a picture, or asking a question.

"Katniss, who were you just visiting?"

"Katniss, what were you just up to?"

"Katniss, smile for us honey!"

I just try my best to ignore all the questions and make my way to the end of the pavement to get to the limo that is waiting for me. The limo comes into view and i see the door open, Finnick steps out of the limo looking as dashing as even in a tuxedo. He smiles at me and i suddenly feel the urge to laugh, cry and scream all at the same time. I settle for pushing past the paparazzi and going up to him where without hesitation he envelopes me in a secure hug. He hugs me tightly and holds me close, kissing my hair once in front of all the press. But right now i don't give a fuck about them.

Finnick pushes me into the Limo and climbs in after me. We slam the door and thats when i cant take it anymore. I let it all out.

I burst into tears in font of Finnick and he holds me, I sob and sob and sob all the way back to the training centre wrapped in Finnick's tight and secure arms, for the first time since my little sister was reaped i feel safe.

"It's ok" he whispers into my hair every once in a while to comfort me. When we are almost at the training center i try and calm myself down, but to little success. Finn turns my body so that i am facing him. "Katniss, don't worry, the first time is always the worst, it only gets better from here on" He hugs me one last time and kisses my forehead. "I have an appointment now. You go up to your floor and i will come see you later" I nod in response and get out of the limo.

When i get out i am instantly once again hounded by paparazzi, they see my tear streaks and the constant tears still rolling down my face.

"Katniss, why are you upset?"

"Katniss, did Finnick do something to you?"

"Katniss, are you upset because your pregnant?"

The questions keep coming and coming, being thrown at me left and right. When i get into the building i only then realize that, that is the first time i have cried since my dad passed away. I never cry, it just goes to show you that only places like this can make someone who has been so strong for years break down like i just did.

They say winning the games brings you pride, that winning the games is the best thing that can ever happen to a person, but its not, it it most definitely the worst. I wonder now if it would have been better to die in the Hunger Games.

I reach the elevator and press 12, the ride is at least 30 seconds and i now realize that i am sore all over, so i sit. I sit in the elevator in the corner, the elevator walls are mirrors at either side and glass at the back. I look into the mirrors and see multiple versions of me. Going on, and on, and on. They never stop. I now realize that all of these Katniss' are just other versions of myself, my personality. There is the Katniss that was fun energetic and loved to hunt when her father was alive. Then there is the strong noble katniss that volunteered for her sister in the games. Then there is the Katniss that killed 19 children for her own benefit. Then there is the whore Katniss, the one who sleeps with random capitol men for money. Then finally, there is the venerable Katniss, the one that i only now just learned existed, the one that is crying in an elevator staring at her reflection. This is the Katniss that i just learned about. This is the Katniss that scares me the most.

* * *

The elevator pings open at 12 but i don't even notice because i am too busy staring at the different versions of me that all look the same on the outside. I feel someone touch my shoulder gently and that brings me out of my trance.

"Welcome back sweetheart" I look up at Haymitch with fresh tears still in my eyes. The heartless face haymitch always wears is just a mask and i have known this all along. All careless emotion from Haymitch's face disappears the second he sees my face. He looks honestly a bit scared. He looks like he doesn't know what to do, he gives me a sympathetic pity filled look and bends down to my level and picks me up. I must really look broken to Haymitch if he is doing this for me.

He carries me to the couch and sits me down on his lap where i curl up in a ball and cling onto his shirt, he still smells strongly like alcohol, but i don't care. He wraps both arms around me and gives me a tight squeeze like my dad used to do. Its then i realize that Haymitch is the father figure i have craved since my dad died. He is the one that took care of me in the games and he is the one that is helping me get through this now by comforting me.

Haymitch keeps planting soft kisses on my head and rocks me back and forward like a father would when trying to put his daughter to sleep. And soon enough i drift off.


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry for the really late update. I just got back to school and iv been busy with that so hopefully more chapters from now on! The more reviews the better! You guys have been really supportive so far and I'm glad you are all enjoying the story so on with it! Xx**

I am awoken by a loud bang coming from another room in the building. I attempt to jolt up in bed immediatly only to find a really heavy arm draped actoss my stomach. I am in a white night gown and i dont remember putting it on. The last thing i remember was falling asleep in Haymitch's arms last night. When i open my eyes again i roll over to see a compleatly passed out Hyamitch. Each breath he takes is a long snore and you can smell the clear cent of alcohol in his breath. But once again i didnt have any nightmares, Finnick and Haymitch both seem to keep the bad dreams away from my mind.

I get up out of bed with a bit of force and stand up, swaying a bit, trying to get my balance. I hear the crash again and look back down at Haymitch who appears to be compleatly unaffected by the noise. I walk to the door and open it carefully, not sure what to expect at the other side. To my surprise I walk out to see Finnick and Effie having a full blown argument!

"Finnick Odair that is compleatly INAPROPRIATE to say such things!" Effie exclaims in her thick Capitol accent.

Finnick puts his hands up to sheild his face from the things Effie is throwing at him while she is chanting for him to get out! I rush to Effie's side and grab her wrist, probably not the smartest thing to do to someone who cares more about manners than oxygen.

"Effie calm down what's going on?" I ask hastily not sure I want to know

"This disgusting man is implying extremely INAPROPRIATE things to which a lady should not be related!" She exclaims putting a lot of emphasis on inapropriote. I chuckle under my breath

"look Effie I'm sure whatever Finnick said he didn't mean, that's just Finn being the dseparate flirt he is!" I glance to the side and wink at Finn with a smirk.

Since last night I am feeling so much better. I'm trying to put everything behind me, obviously I'm not just going to forget about it, but it's a start. Just trying to block it out and channel some of my inner Finnick might be good for me!

Effie huffs and stomps off like a bratty little child who didn't get the toy they so desperately wanted on Christmas. Poor Effie!

I turn to Finn and look him in the eye and sigh "what are you doing here?" I ask carefully, careful with what I say.

"I came to check if you were ok last night but, um, you were already asleep With Haymitch" he says awkwardly scratching the back of his neck with his gaze at the ground "there... Um... Isn't anything going on between you two... Right?" He looks so nervous but then I actually register the question

"who? Me and... Haymitch?!" I screw up my face in a weird position and burst out laughing at the same time "Finn that is so... EW!" I continue laughing until tears are in my eyes

"so your ok?" He changes the subject awkwardly and suddenly the tention in the air feels thicker

"yeah, I mean, I wasn't yesterday but I slept on it and I feel a lot better now." I conclude trying my best to put on a convincing smile but I'm sure it looks forced.

Finn puts on his signature smirk and saunters closer to me and doesnt hesitate to pull he into his strong tanned arms. He pulls me close and I automatically wrap my arms around his middle, I could really use comfot to keep me strong. I feel his muss,e his face into my hair and inhale deeply, almost smelling me, it sounds weird but I find the gesture comforting. i giggle and I feel him kiss my hair, it makes me smile. "It only gets better from here" he whispers and pulls back to kiss my forehead as I cast my eyes to the ground.

Our adorable moment is quickly and rather loudly interrupted but a stumbling Haymitch sauntering into the lounge area.

He groans so loud I'm convinced people in district 12 can hear him "I am never drinking again!" He exclaims plonking over tone couch and throwing himself down. Finnick and I both laugh at him as he moans and groans

"You say that every morning Haymitch" I say while I go to the expanded kitchen to get a glass of water and some Advil. I hand it to him and he shoves the pills in his mouth and swallows them like the are oxygen even though they are the size of my thumb nail. Although with the amount of this Haymitch takes they are probably more like oxygen to him now a days.

i roll my eyes and Finn plops down beside me and Haymitch sits up yawning. He leans over and kisses my forehead roughly, I can feel his facial hair scraping my forehead but I like the gesture. It's comforting, it reminds me of something my father would have done.

An Avox comes out of the elevator with a cart with trays on them which on,y means 1 thing, breakfast. We shout on Effie then all gather at the table.

half way through out silent mean an Avox aproaches me with a little white card and I se. Finn tense beside me. I take it from her and open it and read it over.

_Miss Everdeen, _

_Mr Dinksmout- Capitol hall hotel- 2pm _

_Mr Obersteen- Jenkins resort hotel- 3:30pm _

_Mr Kingsrath- Queens suite- 5pm _

_Mr Gackmon- Hotel Hetrow- 8pm _

_Do not disappoint me _

I shiver without knowing it as Finn looks over his own card. He takes mine out of my hands and makes a groan of protest a little too loud and slams the card down on the table. I look at his card and see he only has 1 appointment at 3. Not nearly as bad as mine.

I suddenly feel as though iv lost my appetite and excuse myself from the table, much to Effie's dislike.

I go to my room and I know Finnick is following me. The second my door closes behind me i begin

"it's not fair!" I exclaim so loud people still in the dining room probably heard me

Finn says nothing at first but just approached me as I stare in the mirror at myself. I'm still not comfortable with my body.

The slightly showy night gown I'm wearing right now I don't remember putting on last night but I can see the my boobs look bug in it, all my other enhanced features all look how they are supposed to in this gown.

Still the thing I can't get over most is the Capitol tattoo, how dare he? How dare he decorate my body with the very thing I dispose more to keep up my bull shit facade for the Capitol idiots! I hate him so much for what he is making me do!

I take a deep breath and Finn a gazes at me in the mirror, it appears that he knows exactly what I'm thinking. He nods in agreement but still says nothing. He sits on the bed making it clear he has no intention of leaving so I shrug and go over to my closet which basically only consists of my whore clothes because that is what snow requested.

I pick out a bright tiffany blue cocktail dress with a haulier neck and an open back with a ribbon corset, that will sure tease my customers! I roll my eyes at the thought but quickly take the dress and some underwear to the bathroom so I can shower.

after all is done and dusted I take a deep breath and slip my perfect curled hair over my shoulder. FinNick still hasn't said anything to me, he just watched me get dressed and ready, but not in a creepy way, I felt like he was looking out for me.

I get in the elevator without saying goodbye to Haymitch and Finn gets in too. He gets off at 4 but not without placing a soft kiss on my cheek.

I smile at him but he appears to now be done yet. He breaths in and moves closer and closer. Soon he is only an inch away from me and I can feel his cold breath on my lips,I don't know what to do, should I kiss him? Do I Want to kiss him? No! ... Maybe? I don't know!

Instead of kissing me he just turns around without a word and enters his apartment without looking back.

**reviews means more chapters soon! Xx**


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